Oakland, Ca – How to reduce holiday stress with boundaries -Hypnotherapy, Eastbay, Ca
The holiday season is packed with parties, family gatherings, cooking, decorating and shopping. There’s also the added feeling of obligation to do more and participate more. The heightened busyness and extra to-do’s can also make you feel conflicted. You might feel you should be happy and thankful, but feel even more overwhelmed.
Ideally, self-care rituals and firm boundaries are already part of your daily, personal practices. It’s certainly taken me many years, if not decades to build my own personal strength. I’d grown up with a parent who struggled with alcohol, so boundaries and self worth would be the challenges and lessons I squarely faced into my adult life.
Boundaries are like a fence. They establish what’s yours and your responsibilities and what belongs to others. I love this metaphor and I use it to help clients visualize their new belief of self worth. I have them imagine their yard and how they would tend to it. Then I have them look out into the neighborhood where they might see different yards and how others tend to theirs. I have them firmly establish their personal fence. Imagining this metaphor may help you, too.
If you find that you’re still establishing your self-care practices, I also have some recommendations for you and just in time for the holidays.
- Acknowledge your triggers. Remember what triggered you last year. Strong emotions like anger can represent a breech of boundaries. Was it a certain gathering or relative that upset you?
- Have a plan. Imagine and rehearse how you wouuld do it differently this year. If you have a partner, be sure to share your concern and how you’d like to handle the situation differently.
- Allow yourself to say “no” to situations that you know you don’t want to do. So many people have FOMO, but if you stop to ask yourself and listen to your intuitive voice, the answer would may be no. I like to say,”Hmmm, that sounds really nice. Let me think about it and get back to you.” This also gives me time to ask myself a couple of times, because I tend to jump to yes more often than my energy allows. Listen to and feel into your answer. Your body knows the truth. This is why we say we had a “gut response” to something.
Remember, you get to decide and choose, so that you feel empowered rather than feel like the victim. Also, setting and affirming your boundaries takes practice, so be kind to yourself.
I’m here to help. If you know you want to create better personal boundaries, you can schedule a free 30 minute discovery call with me to learn more.