Oakland, Ca-Are You Blocking Love By Holding A Grudge?-Life Coach, Eastbay, Ca.
“Don’t waste your time looking back at what you lost. Move on, life is not meant to be traveled backwards.” – Unknown
As Valentine’s Day fast approaches, many people can be filled with dread. Some may feel lonely. Some may be unsatisfied in their relationship. Some may be blocking love by holding onto a grudge. If you’re carrying the dead weight of a grudge, then you my friend, are the one I’m talking to today.
Stacey’s Story. Stacey (not her real name) came to me wanting some help with her bleak outlook on finding love. She was finding that most days, she felt edgy and judgmental. At work, she was finding it hard to focus. A few friends started sharing that she was hard to be around, because she was sinking more and more into a dark, negative mood. After work, she’d go home and spend most of her time on social media or watching TV. She knew she needed some help when she went on a rant to a friend. Her friend was getting back into the dating world and Stacey went on and on about how her friend couldn’t really trust potential dates, and that she was going to get her heart broken.
Stacey’s story is not uncommon. She had a difficult break up with a longtime partner. Her partner found love with someone else and decided to move on. All the future plans Stacey had made dissolved right before her eyes. She was devastated.
When I met Stacey, we talked about the grief cycle. I wanted to make sure that she was allowing her feelings to be felt. She learned the stages and we started from there. The Kubler-Ross grief cycle stages are:
Helping her through the stages of grief was the most important work we did together. The final phase of her healing came when she reached acceptance in order to let go of the grudge and bitterness she had for her previous partner. There was also a bonus in the work. We also found some old wounds from her past that we’re adding to her pain over the break-up. The recent break up symbolized a collection of past hurts that had been secretly traveling with her for decades.
You can image the lightness and brightness that returned to Stacey. Everything changed, when she was able to let go, forgive and heal. I heard from her recently. She shared that she’s back in the dating scene and having a blast. She even went on a double date with her friend she had ranted to all those many months ago.
If you can relate to Stacey and you’d like to get a sample of part of the self-love work Stacey and I did together, I’m happy to say that I have a wonderful, super affordable option for you. Check it out here!