HOW I RELIEVED MY ANXIETY ATTACKS (PART THREE)
How I Relieved My Anxiety Attacks (Part Three)
Straight To The Emergency Room
“It sounds like you’re having a panic attack,” said the woman at the emergency room registration window. I was in my late 20’s, so I didn’t really fit the heart attack demographic. It felt like her statement was a big, gray haze that surrounded me, and lifted me out of my body. I floated there for what felt like an hour, then came back to reality when the woman handed my some registration forms. As I slowly walked into the waiting room, my head was swimming with many voices discussing this thing called a “panic attack.” I knew of it intellectually, but it’s a whole different story when you get to experience one first-hand. I’ve always loved learning about the mind, and it’s incredible potential. I’d read countless books on personal development, and brain science, and now, I was living a crisis of the mind. It only confused me more, because I wasn’t feeling the intense panic now that I was safely in the hospital’s waiting room.
I’m So Scared, And I Can’t Think Straight
I sat there for a long time, lost in a swarm of logic and emotion all fighting for the right to speak. This is what was running through my head. Was it just a panic attack, or did I have a small heart attack? I feel better now, so was it all in my head? Should I get admitted to the emergency room to have them run a bunch of expensive tests on me? What if there’s something really wrong with me, and I have another episode on the way home and die? I’m so scared….I don’t know what to do. I need to just go home, and talk to someone I trust. I just feel like bawling my eyes out. I feel so alone.
Sitting in the waiting room, I looked outside. It was a beautiful Southern California day. There was a garden outside in a courtyard, with so many bright colored flowers. For a hospital, it was pleasantly landscaped. By now, my heart was beating normally, and I could breath again. I felt like I was regaining my composure, so I walked back up the to window, and told the woman that I decided to go home. A worried look crossed her face, and she quizzed me for a few minutes. I understood, liability and all. I took a breath and walked out through the large, electronic doors. I was still questioning my decision, as I slid into my car seat. I calculated how much longer it would take me to get home, and if I wanted to drive side-streets all the way back. That would take forever, and I wasn’t sure I knew how anyway. So, as scary as it was, I decided to get back on the freeway. I stayed in the slow lane all the way home…….to be continued! Click Here To Keep Reading
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